Hi, I’m Lexi Searfoss and I’m a senior in high school. For the first half of my life, I grew up in the small town of Gladwin, MI. I’m just a small town girl, my life hadn’t ever been anything worth sharing. However, that ended about a few years ago.
In December of 2012, my family got a call no one should ever receive. My dad’s new business partner called and had said that a tree fell on my dad. Almost immediately my mom rushed over to the job site to see what happened and to hopefully find him with only a few broken bones. Unfortunately, when my mom walked back in our door the words weren’t “everything is ok dad is fine” instead they were “dad is gone”…
My heart instantly dropped. From that moment on it’s been a roller coaster for the past few years. My dad and I did practically everything together we had a very strong and unique relationship, not one like any other.
For as long as I can remember he had me with him teaching me along the way. Needless to say, he was my world, my hero, my everything. I was THE definition of a daddy’s girl. When you’re 12 years old how is it even possible to fathom that. I wasn’t sure who I was without him.
A couple of months later I find out that my mom was seeing someone else. That really hit me, but I rolled with it and went on. It took me years to realize this was the sole reason of why I was having such a hard time for literally years (more for another time). Anyway, the following July they got married.
Again, it was a tough time for me I felt like I couldn’t catch a break I had just lost my dad 6 months before and now I had a whole new life being thrown at me. In October of 2014, we moved to Midland in order to be closer to my new step-dad’s work and his daughter’s school. I also began a new school, that fall I started my eighth-grade year at Bullock Creek middle school. The 2013-2014 year was really hard on me and my absolute lowest point. I’m in no way proud of it, however, it has made me stronger than ever.
Now, this is the short-short version of the past few years of my life. The point is I’ve had some good times and lots of bad. But every moment, every up and down, every tear every smile is a part of me and my past. I’ve lost 5 very important people in my life since 2012. One is not any easier than the last. But yet I’ve made it.
After my dad died I wasn’t sure I’d ever achieve true happiness again, I was a mess there’s no doubt about it. I fell away from God, I was angry and frustrated. It wasn’t fair.
Today I stand proud of myself and the person I’ve become. Over the last 4 years, I’ve found myself, and I believe my dad would be proud of who I’ve become. The thing is I’ll never get over the fact that I won’t see him on earth again, or that he won’t be here for graduation or my wedding. The difference between then and now is that I can still hold the hurt and can still miss him, yet be happy and still live my life.
There are certain days where I just wanna break down and cry and I do, but then I can wipe away the tears and move on. I don’t dwell on the loss anymore, I can smile up to the sky and look forward. I never in a million years thought I’d have a story to tell or even worth telling.
I grew up in a small town, went to church, had a family who loved me. I had what seemed perfect in my eyes. I’ve never had a story worth sharing or anything that could be inspirational. My dad dying was only the beginning of a long road for me.
I always asked why, but if I can help inspire others or help people going through similar situations I’ll have a valid reason why. This in no way makes it hurt any less, but it does give me some closure. I’m still not 100% there, not even close.
However, I’m a lot closer than I was this time of 2013. For the last couple years now my family has been telling me to start a blog of my own, as my mom has one. Everyone kept telling me I have a gift and a story.
It all started when I visited my aunt in Georgia. While I was there she recommended that I keep a journal to write my feelings and thoughts down, I figured why not and got hooked. My journals are definitely is a big part of my healing process. So now I start a new adventure and share my story with the world.
The last few years have been quite a journey, that’s not near over. I have a new outlook on life, a story to tell, and a world to inspire. Like I said before this bio is only a sliver of a fraction of my life so, please join me as I share the heartache and healing of my journey.