Fall is a crazy time of year for most people I think. School starts, Halloween festivities, prepping for winter, enjoying the last of the semi warm days, maybe thinking about starting to Christmas shop or shopping already…and that for the average individual. Then for me I’ve got duck/goose hunting, deer hunting, salmon fishing, trying to keep up with homework, getting a schedule for next semester, apply for scholarships, etc.
Sure it gets overwhelming sometimes. A lot of the time for me if I’m being honest. Especially this time of year. It just gets crazy until January 1st. Some days I love it because I’m creating memories and making something of myself. Other days my mind takes over and I drive myself crazy thinking about everything that could happen or not happen or the what-ifs.
I like my life to fit inside a box with no unknowns I like to be in control and keep it that way as much as possible. The last few years I’ve realized that’s not logical and 7/10 it’s not going to work that way or exactly how I pictured. Sometimes classes don’t transfer, sometimes I can only work 12 hours a week for 16 weeks, sometimes i can’t hunt much, sometimes I don’t see friends for months, sometimes I just get stressed out. I wonder how I’m going to make it through that week or month.
Then I go to bed and reach over to turn my light off and see my gratitude box that I have a card for every week this year and what good has happened that week. Or I see something on facebook that some body else is going through ans realize I’ve got it easy, it could be so much worse.
I’ve had low spots but I’m not there anymore, I’m living my best life right now. Sure some days are hard, some weeks are hard even but nothing compares to what I have and what I’m experiencing.
Today was one of those days that it all hit me like it was all or nothing and I had to decide the next 5 years of my life before tomorrow. For hours I ran myself in the same circle I always do, playing worse case scenario. So I reached out to a friend I haven’t seen a long time and miss to death. We didn’t even talk except to try and schedule a day to talk. With us both being in college it proves to be pretty hard. It set me at ease. Then I texted my boyfriend along the same lines, need to get out of my head. Just like that, without even talking about what was going through my head, it’s like God calmed the storm within me.
At church a couple Sundays ago the sermon was about stress and how to deal with it and give it to God. That God will carry me through my stress because he takes care of the birds and I think it’s safe to say he values me over the birds. That’s all I thought about the rest of the day. That I have to remember God has a plan, he will take care of me, and that I don’t have to stress about this stuff. It’s all taken care of already, there’s no sense in me getting worked up…easier said than done. Every week I try though with those gratitude notes, to focus on the good, and focus on the present.
It’s so hard to fathom how much God really holds in his hand. That we don’t have to stress or worry about anything. He will take care of you. He will carry you through. He will not fail you.