For the last few months I’ve been telling myself to get back to writing. I wrote my way through my struggles and then fizzled out when I “got better”. Yet, my journey since then, who I’ve become is all just as important as what put me here. I miss it for sure, but it slips my mind and life is busy. Time to catch up quick.
Since I last wrote so much has happened. A few big milestones have come and gone. I officially graduated high school and got my associates (even before my high school diploma). I changed careers, schools, classes, the whole 9 yards. I know am attending Ferris State University and plan to graduate in two years, provided all goes smooth, with my bachelors in Construction Management. I also had to make the decision to put my first “baby”, Ivy, down. At only 10 months old I found she had kidney failure and it was the hardest decision my boyfriend and I have ever had to make.
Now I’ve been taking classes at Ferris for 4 weeks now. I drive 3 hours round trip, four days a week, for the next 12 weeks. Yes, it’s as much as it seems. Leaving me with a whole day Tuesday, half a day Thursday, and the occasional Friday to work. In less than a month my boyfriend and I will have been dating 3 years already, time sure does fly!! That’s pretty much it, the overly simplified version anyway.
As you can see I don’t have much time considering homework time and home and such too. Not to mention trying to not abandon family, especially those getting up there in age. So little time and so much to do. Now I know what my dad used to always say you can sleep when your dead, there’s too much to do before we die.
I want to restart my blog, there’s so much more to say and share with the world. It’s not just about the tragedy, it’s how it changes you, for the better or worse. Even what seems like chaos right now. there’s two things I remember. The first is God has got this. That he is there. That he already has a plan and it’ll stand no matter what you do. No matter how lost you feel in the hustle and bustle of life, he’s got your back. I’m not gonna lie that’s the hardest part for me. Not micromanaging my life. Letting go, sitting back, and let God take over. Second, that even in the busiest days of your life always make time to see your friends and family. Even if it’s just for a second. Shoot a quick text on your way to class, call your grandma on your way home from work. All it takes is a few minutes. Ya never know how long you’ve got. Don’t get so busy creating a future that you lose your present.
The next two years of my life will be nothing short of chaos. Between school, work, moving out, long-term relationship upkeep, family, friends, etc. but at the end of the day I know I’m making me a better me. There will be times it’ll get overwhelming, I’ll want to quit. Then a little voice in my head will tell me to keep going, remind me of what I’ve risen from and where I can go. Nothing is too big, too busy, or too crazy for my God. I’ve come too far and gained too much. It took everything in me to escape the deep hole I dug myself into a few years back, and for the last 4-ish years I’ve been filling that hole back in. I’m not saying times wont get hard again, that is like the definition of life but I will push on. The chaos I’ve been experiencing the last year or two and even now is me making something of myself. Not just the girl who’s dad died when she was young.
I’ll try to make it through without my head completely spinning off. I’ll try to find my limits and not go over them. But I do know one thing, when everything is overwhelming, when I wanna give up. I can take a break because God has it. Right now it doesn’t seem like there’s enough minutes in the day for everything, we just need to realize we need to make everyone count and to not take one for granted. Life gets busy just remember the important stuff, smell the roses and it’s the little things that’ll matter in the end. It’s not the degrees, the promotions, the money, the job, the success. It’s the family, the friendships, the memories, the sunsets, the sunrises, the meaningful stuff. Like this picture:)